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Talking to children about divorce: tips for a productive conversation

Divorce is challenging for families, especially for children who are often caught in the middle of an unfortunate circumstance through no fault of their own. Communicating with your children since the very beginning and offering age-appropriate explanations and answers to their questions is absolutely critical so they understand what is happening and feel supported, safe and loved.

Right time and place

If you are beginning talks of divorce, choose the right time and place. Children are very sensitive to everything that goes on around them, which is why it is crucial to keep things positive and bring up divorce in an environment where they feel comfortable expressing their feelings without being interrupted.

Honest and age-appropriate

While most child professionals recommend that parents be honest with their children when talking about the divorce, it is also important to consider their age and what they need to know. For example, there may be information about situations that happened or are happening between you and your spouse that is not age-appropriate and does not contribute to your child’s learning about the divorce.

Encourage questions

One of the most affirming things you can do for your children is to encourage them to ask questions, not as a one-time thing but to let them know that you are there for them, and that they can come to you with questions or if they feel they have something to say. It is important to emphasize two-way communication between you and your child, which will support them in feeling safe and secure.